Ngidam: The Craving
Dalih Sembiring

Whereas it is normal for a pregnant woman to be craving for special kind of food during the early stage of her pregnancy, it can be quite distressing should the craving not be fulfilled. To some Indonesians, it is even considered bad luck to turn down an expecting mom’s yearning under the circumstance of ngidam.

In Indonesia, it has been commonly acknowledged that amongst various kinds of foodstuff a craving mom may be requesting for, unripe mango has the potential of being on top of the list. That does not seem to matter since anyone can go to the local fruit market and pick mangoes which are not yet ripened. But it would not be as easy if the conceiving mom asks not for mangoes from the shop, but ones which are still dangling on their tree. It would be even more problematical if she wants them literally stolen for her. And yes, it happens.

Ngidam can apparently become peculiar as well as ludicrous. There was a story about a pregnant mom who wanted to have a bite of a tamarind fruit so badly, she insisted her husband to pluck one straight from its branch. However, she did not ask for any tamarind there was hanging, she wanted the one which was at the utmost tip of the tree. Awkwardly striving to accomplish the task, the husband finally made it to the top and returned with the fruit in hand. But when he offered it to his wife, she surprisingly refused it by saying that she did not feel like eating tamarind anymore.

The story probably implies that the woman simply needs her husband to manifest his reliability. Perhaps that is mere test to ensure how much he is devoted to her and their baby. Never reject whatever a craving woman exacts, the elderly might warn. And the forewarning does not only go toward the craving for food, but also the craving for clothes, new set of cosmetics, pets, or maybe a modest request of a tour around the town. A generally accepted belief says that not granting what an expecting woman longs for will generate an unpleasant effect on the baby. That is later after the baby is born, it will grow up salivating constantly. As much as it sounds silly, the belief has its own reason. It is supposed when an expecting mother is longing for a certain thing; it is not necessarily desired by her alone, but also the baby. And salivating is the form of karma that befalls the baby for the refusal of fulfilling what it wishes for in its prenatal phase.

In case the baby really turns out to be dribbling and the parents are extremely anxious on how they could get its condition to normal, not to worry because the belief remarks they could. It seems that the mother ought to try to recall the thing she used to want during pregnancy that did not come true and both the parents together with the tot will have to realize it. If she happened to long for a visit to her hometown, the family should therefore depart as soon as the kid is apt enough to have its first long trip.

Is the belief surrounding the phenomenon of ngidam really true, though? To those who are strongly bound by conservative ideas, the ugly thought of having a drooling child should be enough threat so as not to dispose of the rest of the baloney. As for the cynics, ngidam may just well be conceived as another way of saying: To every husband out there –if you hardly ever listen to your wife, then listen to her at least when she is heavy with your child.